I’m Thinking About ‘Releasing My Nudes’

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Is Martha Stewart going from ultimate lifestyle guru to ultimate OnlyFans GMILF?

Well, no.

However, the American icon is openly discussing her nudes … and whether she’ll release them.

Perhaps her Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover was just the beginning.

‘I’ve been thinking about releasing my nudes’

On Monday, September 14, Martha Stewart dropped a major tease of exciting things to come.

First, she shared a sultry photo on Instagram.

The snapshot is a selfie of the lifestyle influencer, showing a closeup of her face.

Martha turned 85 last month.

Looking at her, you’d never know it.

It was, however, the incendiary caption that caught people’s attention.

“I’ve been thinking about releasing my nudes,” Martha wrote with a seemingly casual air.

Her comments almost immediately filled with words of encouragement — be it horny, professional, or both.

From Bachelor Nation hottie Tyler Cameron to RHONY alum Jenna Lyons to Playboy, people were cheering her on.

Which may mean that those folks are now left feeling the bitter taste of disappointment.

Is Martha Stewart serious about this?

If you’ve seen as many of these teasers as we have, you might have paid extra attention when Martha Stewart mentioned her “nudes.”

Diction matters, after all.

Though “nudes” could refer to Martha’s body in all of its glory, makeup — such as lipstick — can also fall under the “nude” classification.

Martha’s pursed lips in the photo feels like the knowing iykyk wink at her fans and followers.

Sure enough, that’s exactly what she meant — calling her deception a “con.”

“My ‘nudes’ are just a ‘ploy,’” Martha admitted in another Instagram post.

The video showed her applying lipstick.

“They are actually fabulous lip serums to wear day and night,” Martha raved, “to keep your lips as lustrous and soft as your skin !!!!!”

Most people will describe their own product in the most favorable light, so we can take that with a grain of salt.

That said … if Martha ever decides to bare it all for real, she should know that she has a ready and eager audience.