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These are strange times in American politics.
We’re at war with Iran; the president’s wife is hosting press conferences about Jeffrey Epstein for some reason, and now presidential offspring are challenging one another to cage fights.
Yes, Hunter Biden revealed this week that he’s eager to square off against Donald Trump Jr. and Eric Trump in a real-life Celebrity Death Match.
Speaking on social media, Hunter said he’s been in touch with influencer Andrew Callaghan — who recently conducted those bonkers Shia LaBeouf interviews — and the two of them are orchestrating a political battle royale.
“I think he’s trying to organize a cage match, me versus Eric and Don Jr.,” Biden said about Callaghan’s efforts. “I told him I’d do it, 100% in, if he can pull it off.”
In an email to USA Today, Callaghan said that he believed Hunter Biden made the comments “in jest” but that he would be “more than happy to facilitate” the cage fight if Donald Trump Jr. and Eric Trump are “willing to engage Hunter in mutual combat.”
How would this even work?
Would Hunter take on both Trump brothers at the same time, or would this be a tag team situation?
And if it’s the latter, with whom would Hunter team up?
He should probably be allowed to choose from current Congressional Democrats, but that’s a dicey prospect.
Chuck Schumer and Bernie Sanders probably wouldn’t be much help in the ring.
John Fetterman is massive, but he might switch sides in the middle of the match.
AOC is one of the Trumps’ most-hated Dems, but if Hunter chose her, we’d just end up with another round of gender and sports discourse.
News of the fight (which, sadly, probably won’t happen) comes on the heels of reports that Hunter’s allegations prompted Melania Trump to host an impromptu press conference about the Epstein files.
“Epstein introduced Melania to Trump, the connections are so wide and deep,” Hunter said in 2025 (via USA Today).
The first lady described the claim as “false, disparaging, defamatory and inflammatory.”
Conservative outlets like The New York Post are using this week’s Hunter drama as a reason to dredge up less flattering stories about the former president’s son (because let’s face it, if the roles were reversed and the Trumps were issuing this challenge, the Post would be applauding it).
In their reporting on the cage match, the Post also alleged that Hunter is “too broke to pay his lawyers.”
“Neither we nor our client know the ultimate amount owed,” Biden’s lawyer Barry Coburn acknowledged when reached for comment.
Yes, the Post really buried the freaking cage match story beneath multiple paragraphs about the pay dispute between Hunter and his lawyers.
Look, we may not all agree on much in this country, but hopefully we can still concur that cage matches are awesome and we want this one to happen.
